Wake Up, Aurora!

There is a cute dog in this movie. That’s all I got.

1.0

It’s not that my heart cannot be warmed by a movie about adorable animals like those featured in Rascal, but I think it’s safe to say that I’ve reached a point where this whole “down home on the country” stuff has lost its appeal. It appears that I am nearing the end of this decade, so let’s hope we can move forward from this.

1.0

I was really hoping I’d like The Love Bug, considering they made so many sequels for it. But the whole thing never quite did it for me. If you’re not familiar, Herbie is a racecar with a mind of his own who gets himself into trouble and helps his owner win races. He’s meant to be lovable, but I didn’t really think he was that cool. I actually thought he was kind of a jerk. At least the dummy assistant (played by Buddy Hackett) was funny.

Thoughts:

• I felt like that the drivers in this movie were quite loose about taking their eyes off the road. No safety concerns here.

3.5

So basically, The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit is this thing about a guy in advertising that needs a good idea for work, and needs to help his daughter become a star horse jumper. So what does he do? He names a horse after an over-the-counter drug. Ok, sure.

Thoughts:

• There’s a lot of old school charm going on in this story. Mostly it just stresses how different men and their courtship rituals were back then. A young Kurt Russell approaches a girl in this film and is sorta just forceful. WE’RE GOING OUT THIS SATURDAY. Done. If only it were that simple.

3.0

The first few minutes of Never a Dull Moment make it seem like it’s going to be pretty good. It has a very slick look and feel to it. (It seems weird to call a movie with Dick Van Dyke in it SLICK, but that’s sort of what we’re dealing with here.) But by about halfway in, it becomes pretty apparent that this movie is just plain boring. Slick shouldn’t have to be boring. Oh well. Sorry, Dick.

1.0

Much like The Happiest Millionaire, The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (say that 3 times fast) has a crap ton of singing in it. The only difference is that this movie isn’t one I’d necessarily classify as “happy” on account of its overwhelming political theme. Family Band is about a large family who sing and play in a band (duh). They are the only democrats in what was formerly known as the Dakota territory, which is primarily Republican. Through their power of song, they campaign heavily to their community for the reelection of Democratic President Grover Cleveland. The local Republicans are supporting Benjamin Harrison. There’s also a sort Romeo & Juliet love story going between one of the daughters and a Republican man. (Scandalous, y’all.) I don’t want to ruin the ending (though you could always consult your history books) but there is a man that is elected in the end, and all of the Democrats and Republicans learn to get along. Ya know, just like real life.

Thoughts:

• This is a poor man’s The Sound of Music. Instead of Nazis, the so-called “bad” guys are the Republicans. That said, if you are Republican, this movie might not sit well with you….even though it’s about an election that happened well before any of you were born.
• It might be worth noting that this movie was released while Lyndon B. Johnson was president, about a year before Richard Nixon was elected. Sort of appropriate. I also happened to watch this around election time, so it’s all just clicks.

4.0

It’s not that I have anything against pirates, but when I first looked at the cover for Blackbeard’s Ghost, I expected a pretty bland movie. It then only took Blackbeard a couple minutes to school me, though. This movie was absolutely nothing like what I had expected. It was pretty much as goofy as could be. To give you a more current movie to compare it to, it’s sorta like Angels in the Outfield, only they had Track & Field instead of baseball. And instead of Christopher Lloyd, they had Captain Blackbeard. But as wacky of a plot as it was, the movie was paced a little weird. The beginning was rather slow, and it took a little too long to get to all the Blackbeard fun. I kinda wish they hadn’t buried the lead.

5.0

Before watching The Happiest Millionaire, I read that Walt Disney happened to pass away during this movie’s production. Well he sure went out with a bang, because this might just be the absolute happiest and cheesiest movie I have ever seen. By minute 16 they were already on song #3 and I felt completely overwhelmed and giggly. No one would stop singing in this movie. Because of that, I could barely even really tell you what the story was even about. There was a rich family, led by patriarch Fred MacMurray, a doofy Irish butler that I can only describe as “sooooo Irish,” a daughter that gets married to a guy that’s way too excited about going to Detroit, a so-called “Bible class” that takes place inside a boxing ring with a crap ton of kooky dancing….and about a dozen frozen alligators. Yeah, I think I covered everything.

6.0

I was a bit thrown at first, but it should be noted that Charlie, the Lonesome Cougar is not a MILF porn. It is, however, another nature documentary. I thought I was done with all of these, but I guess I was wrong. This one has more of an actual storyline than most of the other ones I’ve watched, but it’s still basically about….nature. That said, I’ve previously mentioned that these nature documentaries have a tendency to being a “realness” to a lot of Disney’s animated movies. While Charlie was a cougar helplessly trying to make it in the human world, we could look at The Jungle Book and compare Charlie to Mowgli, who was a human helplessly trying to make it in the jungle world. Everyone always eventually ends up where they belong.

Thoughts:

• You could tell that much of the cougar/human interaction was filmed separately, thus making scenes just look sorta cheesy. But this really wasn’t meant to be a super serious Discovery Channel special, so I guess it’s ok.

2.0

When I went to go watch The Jungle Book, I found out that this is one of those movies that’s currently inside “the vault.” I couldn’t find it for online rental/streaming anywhere, so I ended up having to purchase a used DVD of it. It seemed weird to skip it, considering what a classic it’s considered. That all said, The Jungle Book isn’t quite what I remembered it to be as a kid. I guess because it didn’t seem like there was much of an actual *story* involved. It’s more like a bunch of cute stuff thrown on the screen, and then it’s pretty much over before you know it. Seriously, it ends so suddenly, I didn’t even believe it was over at first. Womp. At least the music is good.

Thoughts:

• I love when young characters in movies (animated or no) make friends so easily. Just a quick ‘sup and they’re besties for life. (I’m referring to Mowgli and the baby elephant.)
• Are the vulture characters supposed to be the Beatles or something?

6.5